Feeling Overwhlemed?

So, I've felt a little overwhelmed lately.  And not necessarily because I have four kids.  And homeschool.  And have a busy husband.  No, there are many people that have a lot more on their plates than I do.  What has been overwhelming me is feelings of frustration, regret, and failure.  Let me explain.

I am a Christian.  I am a wife.  I am a mother.  I am a daughter.  I am a friend.  I am a pastor's wife.  And I want to do all those things to the best of my abilities.  I want to be there for the people who mean the most to me, when they need me.  But I can't always do that.  To do so I would have to be perfect.  And, let's face it - I'm not.  Far from it.  And the fact that I am not exactly what I want to be gets me frustrated.  I get irritated with myself.  I focus on my failures and regret things that I have or have not done.  And then, when I get that way, I feel like giving up on trying.  What's the point?  I know I'm going to disappoint someone anyway.  Why try?  I get completely overwhelmed.

I know I am not alone in these feelings.  Because I have talked with some of you.  I know that you feel this way sometimes too.  We look back on our lives either in the distant past or five minutes ago and see how we could have or should have done something differently.  We think of how we should change ourselves and how we do things.  And, if you are anything like me, our feelings of being overwhelmed and failure are fed by things all around us.

Take the internet, for instance.  I truly believe the internet can be an awesome tool to further the message of hope and love of Christ.  It can be used to encourage and strengthen each other in our walk with the Lord.  But it can also be a hindrance.

Lately on Facebook, it seems people (at least among my friends) are "sharing" all kinds of articles and blog posts.  And a lot of them lately have been titled with things like "10 things you need to know now" and "5 traits to need to force your children to have" (okay, those aren't actual titles of anything, at least not that I know of... Just trying to give hypothetical examples).  I know that the writers of these posts and articles are probably just trying to encourage and help people with their thoughts.  Good grief - I do that myself on this blog.  I'm sure their hearts are in the right place and they really feel this is information to be shared.  And those that "share" the articles have those same thoughts and feelings.  I've been known to pass along something that truly spoke to me.

But it seems lately if I read one of those articles, I find myself feeling defeated and deflated.  I find my list of things I want to do for and with my children growing even more.  I find the way I relate to Mr. Handsome a little less that par compared to what other wives are doing.  I become frustrated that other families seem to have it all figured out while I am still floundering around trying to find the best schedule and routine and organization for our household.  I find myself feeling like a failure.

And you know what?  That's exactly where the devil wants me.  He knows that I am a Christian.  There's nothing he can do about that (Praise God!).  But he does know that if he can get me feeling like a failure, then he get me to want to give up and stop trying.  And then he has won.  At least for that day.  If he can get me to not give my best in my present circumstance, then he can keep me from doing what the Lord has called me to do at that moment.

There is a song that the Lord has really been using in my life lately.  I'm sure many have heard it as it was one of the top songs on the radio last year.  Here are the lyrics:


Hello, my name is regret
I’m pretty sure we have met
Every single day of your life
I’m the whisper inside
That won’t let you forget

Hello, my name is defeat
I know you recognize me
Just when you think you can win
I’ll drag you right back down again
‘Til you’ve lost all belief

Oh, these are the voices. Oh, these are the lies
And I have believed them for the very last time

Hello, my name is child of the one true King
I’ve been saved, I’ve been changed, I have been set free
"Amazing Grace" is the song I sing
Hello, my name is child of the one true King

I am no longer defined
By all the wreckage behind
The one who makes all things new
Has proven it’s true
Just take a look at my life

Hello, my name is child of the one true King
I've been saved, I've been changed, I have been set free
"Amazing Grace" is the song I sing
Hello, my name is child of the one true King

What love the Father has lavished upon us that we should be called His children
I am a child of the one true King

What love the Father has lavished upon us that we should be called His children

Hello, my name is child of the one true King
I've been saved, I've been changed, I have been set free
"Amazing Grace" is the song I sing
Hello, my name is child of the one true King

--"Hello, My Name Is" by Matthew West

This song perfectly explains how we should feel about our past failures.  Yes, we may have messed up.  Yes, we may have things we would give anything to do over and do differently.  Yes, we may have regret - about yesterday, last week, 10 years ago.  But what we need to remember is this: if you are a child of the King, we are set free.  When God looks at us, he doesn't see us.  He sees Jesus who died for those sins, those regrets.  If God has forgiven and moved on - why can't we?

When we mess up - as a friend, wife, husband, mother, father, child, Christian - we can ask for forgiveness and move on.  We need to STOP dwelling on how we should have done it differently.  We need to STOP listening to Regret and stop defining ourselves by that.

So, should we stop sharing or even writing articles about parenting, marriage, life?  No, that's not what I am saying.  What I am saying is that we should be looking at them in a different light.  Maybe another family does something differently than you.  Okay.  That's great.  Stop comparing ourselves to what others are doing.  God doesn't compare us to each other.  

We need to just do our best (with the incredible help of God) for our life, our family, or relationships.  Focus on that.  

I hope this makes sense.  I've been mulling it over for some time in my head.  I've decided to stop dwelling on how I measure up to others and their standards and just focus on God's standards and what He wants for me.  And to remember that He has forgiven me, that I am a child of His.  And that has been a freeing feeling.

Until next time...