Quite a few months ago, I saw this meme on Facebook, so I saved it on my phone. I thought it was a good quote. But it speaks to me on deeper level now than it did then. And from it, I find great inspiration and encouragement. Here's why:
The past few months, My husband and myself have been doing exactly what this quote says. We have been weeping. Weeping and grieving over what we thought our life would be like when we moved out west. Three and a half years ago, we uprooted our family, and moved almost completely across the country to a small town where we knew no one. The one thing we did know, however, was that God wanted us here. After selling half of our belongings, we made the long trek out here and we moved into our new town. We quickly began making friends and settled into our new role in our new church. And we loved it.
At first, everything was good. We were very happy and very very busy. But, as with many things in life, circumstances and situations arise that can completely change what you thought your life was going to be like. And that's what happened. Circumstances began to arise and our thoughts of what we anticipated for our lives to be like out here began to change. After months of praying, weeping, talking, seeking godly advice and praying some more, it became evident that it was time for our church and us to part ways. I will not get into the gritty details, but I will say that it has been a very long 18 months. We have faced some hard trials and we have experienced some of the deepest hurt we have ever felt.
The parting of ways happened at the beginning of March. Since then, it has been a tough time for our family. We have wept deeply over what feels like a death to us. We have grieved a great loss. We have worked to keep our children protected as much as possible from hurt. We have spent a lot of time together to keep our family unit strong and intact. We have spent time seeking The Lord and crying out to Him - looking to Him for strength and guidance.
And now it is time for us to "wash our faces" and move on with our life. My husband has not found a new job yet - and not for lack of trying. Which means we have not have a consistent pay check in some months. We, like so many of you, live pay check to pay check. We do not have a huge savings account to fall back on to support us. We have waited to see what The Lord has for us next. But nothing specific has been revealed to us at this time. The financial pressure of having monthly bills - especially a mortgage has weighed heavily on us. And while we have been able to take care of it thus far, the end of eing able to do that is in sight . So we decided almost two weeks ago to take a step of "blind faith" and put our house on the market.
And it sold. We accepted a good solid offer on it 6 days later.
We were both shocked that it happened so fast. And while I could sit down and start to panic about the logistics of packing everything up and moving - we still don't know where - I am not doing that. Because I know that this is God's plan. The financial burden of the mortgage has been lifted. We feel a huge relief from that pressure.
It would be nice if we got a phone call or text from God telling us exactly what the next year (or five) was going to look like. But God doesn't work that way. Sometimes - actually oftentimes - He shows us one step at a time. For us - the first step was to put the house on market. Next - we will pack what possessions we can fit into a 10x10 storage unit and sell the rest. Come June 30, we will leave our lovely home here for good. And next - we are still waiting to see.
This is not what I envisioned our lives to be like right now. My husband and I have been married for 11 years next month. And the longest we have lived in one home is 3 years. When we moved into this current house, I thought for sure we would be here for many years. (In fact, I remember telling my husband that I never wanted to move again!). This is not what I would have wanted or chosen for us. But I am done grieving over what "I" wanted. As the quote above says - I have wept. I have grieved. But now I am washing my face and embracing what God has for us. I am trusting Him.
I share this with you all to ask you to pray. Pray with us as we seek The Lord in what He would have for us. Pray for us as our hearts are still hurting and in need of healing. Pray for our children as this has been confusing and hard on them. Pray that we will continue to point them to The Lord - showing through our own actions that it is so WORTH IT to always follow Him, even when we don't understand. Please, just pray for us as we face this new, scary, uncertain, yet exciting time in our lives.
Until next time...
Emily, you know this...He never gives us more than we can handle, but handles more than we can give. Someone once told Tim and I when we were in the valley that God allows us to go through those dark times to mold, shape, and prepare us for the next step. At first I didn't understand that...until we came to the other side and someone else was going through what we just went through. We have gone through the grieving process you referred to. It does get better...but only because you allow God to make it better. I love you dearly and pray along side you as a sister in Christ that you receive that 'text' through His word or in His still small voice.
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