This past Sunday was an exciting day in our household. Sunday morning, at church, our Little Handsome followed the Lord's leading and was baptized. Now, I am not sure of what all reading this believe, but we do not believe in infant baptism. We believe that, after one has put their faith in Christ for their eternal salvation, then they can follow in believer's baptism. This is merely a public testimony of their trust in Christ Jesus and is not necessary as part of their salvation. It is simply a step of obedience. We also believe in baptism by full immersion, not sprinkling.
All that was to say that this past Sunday, Little Handsome made that step of obedience. I have been thinking of the proper words to describe how I felt watching him do this, but no words come to mind. I guess the only thing that keeps coming to mind is the verse 3 John 4, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." That closely sums it up. Apart from the joy I felt sitting on the couch next to him as he prayed to the Lord and gave his life to Him, Sunday was the greatest joy I have felt.
I also was so proud of him. Proud in a good way. You see, Little Handsome has not yet gotten over his fear of having his head completely under water. And he knew this was what was going to happen - even for just a few seconds. We had been talking to him about it, making sure he was prepared. (And for the record, this was his decision. We do not push our children into making these very important spiritual decisions. We just explain to them what it all means, and leave it to them to decide when they are ready.)
When his turn came (he was the last of 10 to be baptised that day), he climbed in the water and stood next to his dad. I was standing next to the baptistery and was saying a few words to the crowd about Little Handsome. As I talked, I looked over and saw him, clinging to his father. You could tell he was a bit fearful. You could tell he was nervous. But you could also tell he was very much trying to be brave. He knew this was what he wanted to do - what he was supposed to do. It choked me up to see him following the Lord even though he was fearful.
When I was finished, my husband looked down at Little Handsome and asked him to publicly answer if he had ever put his faith and trust in Christ. Little Handsome, with his strong and loud voice said unwavering, "Yes." And then, with tears in his own eyes, Mr. Handsome baptised his son. The crowd of about 200 all applauded and many said "Amen."
As soon as he came above the water, Little Handsome turned to his daddy with his arms up and his daddy lifted him up into his arms and held him tight. My eyes filled with tears at that point, as did many others. And it has been since then that I have had that image in my head. I keep thinking about it and it reminds me of how our Heavenly Father is with us.
This life is not easy. There are many trials and struggles we go through. There are things that we just plain don't understand. Why did this happen? Why did we lose that family member whom we loved so dearly? Why do I have this constant health struggle? Why do I have chronic pain? Why cancer? I want children so badly, Lord. Why have you not given them to me? Why are the finances so tight? Why do we struggle to keep food on the table? Why have you called me to do this?
These are just a few of the many struggles we may face in this life. And often, we don't have the answers. And that makes us fearful. We are afraid. We are nervous. But God has promised us if we follow Him, He will be right there with us. "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." (Deut. 31:6)
God told us we would encounter hard times, but that we need not fear. We can have peace. He is in control and He has a plan. "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)
I picture it just like it was with my husband and son on Sunday. My son was afraid. He was fearful. But he knew what he needed to do and he put those fears aside, trusting in his father. We had assured him that Daddy would be right there the whole time. Daddy was not going to let go or leave him. Little Handsome, in his sweet childlike faith, took his father at his word and trusted in him. And when it was done and he was at his point of greatest fear, his Daddy came through with his word and was right there, lifting him into his arms.
God has assured us that He is not going to let go. He is here for us. And when we feel we are drowning in our troubles, in our fear, we can hold up our hands and He is right there, as HE SAID HE WOULD BE, and He will lift us in His strong, loving arms and hold us tight, assuring us that He will protect us.
We cannot go through life without any trouble. We won't go without any difficulties. But, if we are a child of Him, we can go in peace because we have God our Father right there, ready to pick us up when we feel we are overwhelmed and drowning in fear. He is there for us to cling on to when we are about to go into the unknown. He is a big God and He can handle any situation, even when we cannot. All we need to do, just as my son did, is take God at His word and trust Him. He is there. And He always will be.
Until next time...
Showing posts with label Little Handsome. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Little Handsome. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Sunday, September 29, 2013
What I Didn't Know
I had read many books on what to expect. I had asked questions. I had gone to the classes. I thought I was well prepared. I thought I had it all figured out. But when those first contractions hit in the early morning hours, I suddenly realized I had no idea what I was doing.
It was in the early morning hours of September 28, 2006. Mr. Handsome, my mom, and my mother-in-law were all sleeping soundly in our tiny two-room apartment. I had tried to get comfortable, but that just wasn't happening. I remembered learning in our childbirth class about different things to do to help relieve that pain from the contractions. I was trying all of them. But with each passing contraction they were getting more intense. I was debating whether I should wake everyone up just yet. This being my first pregnancy, I wasn't for sure if this was "the real thing" or not. I had already gone to the hospital twice in false labour. The last thing I wanted was to go again only to be sent home, again. But really, I knew. I knew this was it. I was about to have a baby. Our lives were about to change - forever.
It was now just after 7 a.m. I had been having contractions for a few hours, and they were now closer together. Mr. Handsome had been timing them with me for a little while when we knew it was time to head to the hospital. We woke up our moms, grabbed our bag and headed out the door. It was hard to walk. I was having contractions every few minutes and couldn't even stand up straight. We lived in the second floor of a boy's dormitory at the school where I worked and my husband was getting his master's degree. But I couldn't take the stairs. We got on the elevator almost full of boys headed to their first hour class. I wish I could have taken a picture of their faces - they looked terrified that I was going to give birth right there!
We got in the car and headed to the hospital. There was a sense of anticipation and excitement in the air. This was it! We got to the hospital, got all registered, and before I knew it, I was in a labour and delivery room. Mr. Handsome was at my side, answering my every beck and call - wiping my face with a cold cloth, getting me ice chips, holding my hand when I needed it. He likes to complain about how hard I squeezed and how much it hurt. I have no sympathy.
I was trying to go drug free, but I just wanted some relief. So I asked for a little something to take the edge off. I took some Nubain and it helped me at least relax some. And then, it was time. I told them that I needed to push. The room then became alive with movement. Nurses moving in and out - turning on the heat light and getting the bed ready for our baby. The doctor coming in getting her gown on preparing to deliver. I remember looking at my husband, with a surreal feeling in my mind, and saying, "Honey, we are about to have a baby!"
The next 20ish minutes I did what my body was telling me to do - push with all my might. The pain was intense. Some of the worst I have ever felt. I wanted that baby out and I wanted it out NOW! The nurses that were counting to ten were getting on my nerves. I wanted to slap them and tell them to shut up. Mr. Handsome was right at my side, encouraging me on, telling me I was doing great.
And then, with one hearty push - the pain immediately subsided. My baby - my firstborn emerged and let out a loud, beautiful scream. "Its a boy!" the doctor proclaimed (we were fairly certain of this already). I was only able to hold him for a short minute as there was meconium and they had to take him to suction out his lungs to be sure he hadn't swallowed any. During this time my husband was crying, kissing me, and telling me how proud he was of me. Our moms were crying and saying how beautiful he was. And I was laying there, in awe at what just happened.
It was only a few minutes before he was cleared and our Little Handsome was placed back in my arms. I just stared at him, taking in every part of his face. I looked at his hands, his fingers, his feet. He was perfect. Then a nurse came and helped me nurse him for the first time. I sat there, almost in shock at what was going on. I looked at Mr. Handsome and saw the look of utter satisfaction and pleasure on his face. He was a father. I was a mother. We were so blessed.
As we sat in that hospital room, I thought of all the books I had read. How prepared I thought I was. But nothing could have really prepared me for what I was feeling and experiencing. No, there was much I didn't know before this moment.
What I didn't know was how incredibly hard and painful labour was going to be. I didn't know how it would be even a bit scary when the doctor says there was meconium and they called for the pediatrician. I didn't know that I could be that physically exhausted, yet still having to continue on, because I was the only one who could do this. I didn't know that I could get so annoyed with nurses who were just trying to help me. I didn't know that I could be that hot and sweaty in an air conditioned room.
But there was much more I didn't know. I didn't know how that terrible pain I had been experiencing would be gone in an instant. I didn't know how intense a love I would feel the moment I heard that first cry, the moment I first laid eyes on my son. I didn't know how my love for my husband would grow by leaps and bounds just seeing him hold my son - OUR son - for the first time. I didn't know my heart could hold so much love.
And over the next few weeks, I didn't know how I could be so tired and survive on so little sleep, yet not begrudge it because it was to give care to one of the most precious things in my life. I didn't know how protective I would become when someone wanted to hold him and I would insist they wash their hands AND use hand sanitizer first. I didn't know how hard it would be to leave him in the care of someone else when he was just 3 months old and I had to return to work. I didn't know how he would be on my mind day and night. I didn't know how sad it would make me when I knew he wasn't feeling well.
September 28, 2006. Seven years ago when Little Handsome entered this world. I cannot believe that much time has already passed. There was so much I didn't know then. And there is still so much I don't know now.
But I do know this - I would never ever change those seven years with him in our lives. Yes, our lives changed forever. But so much for the better. Since then my love for our baby boy has grown beyond words. I can't find any words to adequately express how I feel about him. I thank God every single day for my son. Happy Birthday, Little Handsome. I am so blessed to be your mommy.
Until next time....
It was in the early morning hours of September 28, 2006. Mr. Handsome, my mom, and my mother-in-law were all sleeping soundly in our tiny two-room apartment. I had tried to get comfortable, but that just wasn't happening. I remembered learning in our childbirth class about different things to do to help relieve that pain from the contractions. I was trying all of them. But with each passing contraction they were getting more intense. I was debating whether I should wake everyone up just yet. This being my first pregnancy, I wasn't for sure if this was "the real thing" or not. I had already gone to the hospital twice in false labour. The last thing I wanted was to go again only to be sent home, again. But really, I knew. I knew this was it. I was about to have a baby. Our lives were about to change - forever.
It was now just after 7 a.m. I had been having contractions for a few hours, and they were now closer together. Mr. Handsome had been timing them with me for a little while when we knew it was time to head to the hospital. We woke up our moms, grabbed our bag and headed out the door. It was hard to walk. I was having contractions every few minutes and couldn't even stand up straight. We lived in the second floor of a boy's dormitory at the school where I worked and my husband was getting his master's degree. But I couldn't take the stairs. We got on the elevator almost full of boys headed to their first hour class. I wish I could have taken a picture of their faces - they looked terrified that I was going to give birth right there!
We got in the car and headed to the hospital. There was a sense of anticipation and excitement in the air. This was it! We got to the hospital, got all registered, and before I knew it, I was in a labour and delivery room. Mr. Handsome was at my side, answering my every beck and call - wiping my face with a cold cloth, getting me ice chips, holding my hand when I needed it. He likes to complain about how hard I squeezed and how much it hurt. I have no sympathy.
I was trying to go drug free, but I just wanted some relief. So I asked for a little something to take the edge off. I took some Nubain and it helped me at least relax some. And then, it was time. I told them that I needed to push. The room then became alive with movement. Nurses moving in and out - turning on the heat light and getting the bed ready for our baby. The doctor coming in getting her gown on preparing to deliver. I remember looking at my husband, with a surreal feeling in my mind, and saying, "Honey, we are about to have a baby!"
The next 20ish minutes I did what my body was telling me to do - push with all my might. The pain was intense. Some of the worst I have ever felt. I wanted that baby out and I wanted it out NOW! The nurses that were counting to ten were getting on my nerves. I wanted to slap them and tell them to shut up. Mr. Handsome was right at my side, encouraging me on, telling me I was doing great.
And then, with one hearty push - the pain immediately subsided. My baby - my firstborn emerged and let out a loud, beautiful scream. "Its a boy!" the doctor proclaimed (we were fairly certain of this already). I was only able to hold him for a short minute as there was meconium and they had to take him to suction out his lungs to be sure he hadn't swallowed any. During this time my husband was crying, kissing me, and telling me how proud he was of me. Our moms were crying and saying how beautiful he was. And I was laying there, in awe at what just happened.
It was only a few minutes before he was cleared and our Little Handsome was placed back in my arms. I just stared at him, taking in every part of his face. I looked at his hands, his fingers, his feet. He was perfect. Then a nurse came and helped me nurse him for the first time. I sat there, almost in shock at what was going on. I looked at Mr. Handsome and saw the look of utter satisfaction and pleasure on his face. He was a father. I was a mother. We were so blessed.
As we sat in that hospital room, I thought of all the books I had read. How prepared I thought I was. But nothing could have really prepared me for what I was feeling and experiencing. No, there was much I didn't know before this moment.
What I didn't know was how incredibly hard and painful labour was going to be. I didn't know how it would be even a bit scary when the doctor says there was meconium and they called for the pediatrician. I didn't know that I could be that physically exhausted, yet still having to continue on, because I was the only one who could do this. I didn't know that I could get so annoyed with nurses who were just trying to help me. I didn't know that I could be that hot and sweaty in an air conditioned room.
But there was much more I didn't know. I didn't know how that terrible pain I had been experiencing would be gone in an instant. I didn't know how intense a love I would feel the moment I heard that first cry, the moment I first laid eyes on my son. I didn't know how my love for my husband would grow by leaps and bounds just seeing him hold my son - OUR son - for the first time. I didn't know my heart could hold so much love.
And over the next few weeks, I didn't know how I could be so tired and survive on so little sleep, yet not begrudge it because it was to give care to one of the most precious things in my life. I didn't know how protective I would become when someone wanted to hold him and I would insist they wash their hands AND use hand sanitizer first. I didn't know how hard it would be to leave him in the care of someone else when he was just 3 months old and I had to return to work. I didn't know how he would be on my mind day and night. I didn't know how sad it would make me when I knew he wasn't feeling well.
September 28, 2006. Seven years ago when Little Handsome entered this world. I cannot believe that much time has already passed. There was so much I didn't know then. And there is still so much I don't know now.
But I do know this - I would never ever change those seven years with him in our lives. Yes, our lives changed forever. But so much for the better. Since then my love for our baby boy has grown beyond words. I can't find any words to adequately express how I feel about him. I thank God every single day for my son. Happy Birthday, Little Handsome. I am so blessed to be your mommy.
Until next time....
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